my htb and i going to rom in may 2012. but for chinese type will be in chinese cal 2013

we have a plan that no to hold and wedding dinner / lunch. If his parents allow / canaccept for holding any table . the prob is with my mum side .. she insist to have the wedding lunch / dinner . but if we hold on my mum side . how do we give invitation card and lets ppl know we are marry ?or how to write on the invtaion card dun think its funny or any advised can advise me. we in the midst finding a good time to talk to his parents first then try to explain to my mum why we dun wan to hold any of it.

help ~~